Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.
Name your dog "Dog."
Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.
Leave tips in Bolivian currency.
Ask people what gender they are.
Wear your pants backwards.
Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complementary mints by the cash register.
Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!"
Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.
Reply to everything someone says with "That's what YOU think."
Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador."
Chew on pens that you've borrowed.
Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.
At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.
Pay for your dinner with pennies.
Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy."
Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend."
Drum on every available surface.
Honk and wave to strangers.
Sing the Batman theme incessantly.
Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a Southern Drawl.
Staple papers in the middle of the page.
Produce a rental DVD consisting entirely of dire FBI copy warnings.
Sew anti-theft detector strips into people's backpacks.
ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
only type in lowercase.
dont use any punctuation either
Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.
Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.
Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
Set alarms for random times.
Buy large quantities of mint dental floss just to lick the flavor off.
Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise.
Dress only in clothes colored Hunter's Orange.
Rouse your roommates from slumber each morning with Lou Reed's "Metal Machine Music."
Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."
Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.
Repeat everything someone says, as a question.
Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's roadmaps.
Inform everyone you meet of your personal Kennedy assassination/UFO/OJ Simpson conspiracy theories.
Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now."
Light road flares on a birthday cake.
Wander around the restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.
Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One."
As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.
Finish the 99 bottles of beer song.
Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.
Pretend your mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it.
Drive half a block.
Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back in the tray.
Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot."
Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you don't want to fall off "in case the big one comes."
Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with a can of Lysol.
Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers' brains, such as "Feliz Navidad", the Archies' "Sugar" or the Mr. Rogers theme song.
While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.
Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September.
Change your name to John Aaaaasmith for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each A.
Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
Wear a LOT of cologne.
Ask to "interface" with someone.
Sing along at the opera.
Mow your lawn with scissors.
Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."
Incessantly recite annoying phrases, such as "sticky wicket isn't cricket."
Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a "magic picture."
Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.
Scuff your feet on a dry, shaggy carpet and seek out victims.
Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more.
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Thanks to Mike Williams.